 |
Author/Athlete/Professional
Speaker "Think of yourself as an athlete. I guarantee you it will change the way you walk, the way you work, and the decisions you make about leadership, teamwork, and success."- MBN |
|
|
"Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea," said C. S. Lewis," until they have someone to forgive. So HOW does one ACT on this good idea? I've come up with five essential keys: 1) Awareness: Remember Who Hurt You and How It's easier to pretend that we weren't hurt, or to simply stop liking the other person. But this first step honors the injured party by asking: What happened? Who was responsible? What were the consequences? 2) Validation: Talk to a Sympathetic Listener We are a species of story-tellers. It's through talking and listening to each other that we grow, heal, and understand ourselves and each other. "Liberation begins," said the theologian Matthew Fox, "when pain is allowed to be pain." 3) Compassion: Seek the Humanity in Others People hurt others because they themselves are hurting -- or confused or ignorant. Longfellow said, "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." In other words, behind every jerk there's a sad story. 4) Humility: Reflect on Your Own Faults and Failings All of us have hurt others, whether through insensitivity, misguided intentions, or malicious acts. As we take stock of our own faults and failings, we begin to feel less victimized, and less different from the offender. 5) Self-Forgiveness: Open Your Heart to Yourself Like forgiving others, self-forgiveness is a gift, a demonstration of compassion for the person who often needs it most. It's essential for people who believe they somehow participated in getting injured, it's good practice for learning to forgive others, and it's perhaps the most important aspect of forgiveness, since many of us are more critical of ourselves than we are of anyone else. *** Want to read more? Check out Mariah's 4th book, The Unburdened Heart: Five Keys to Forgiveness and Freedom (Harper San Francisco, 2000). To contact Mariah, call 703/276-8323 or write to her at Mariah@MariahBurtonNelson.com Home © 2000-2002
Mariah Burton Nelson 2002 Site
Redesign by ALT Designs |
Five Keys to
Forgiveness and Freedom