Lost
by Mariah Burton Nelson  

All of us feel lost sometimes. If you enjoy that feeling, try a sport called orienteering. Participants wander deep into the woods, then try to find their way out using only a map and compass.

This sport does not appeal to me. I already dis-orienteer too often: on freeways, on bike trails, even in restaurants.

But the sense of being lost is valuable, says Lolma Olson, president of Sage Consulting, a health care consulting firm based in northern California. "Even when you're miserable, it's an important time," she says. "You learn something about yourself that you couldn't have learned otherwise. When you finally find your sense of direction, you're a different person, a better person."

In The Way of Transition, William Bridges notes, "unexpected solutions and creative ideas come out of a murky state where purpose and focus are temporarily suspended." He calls this state the neutral zone, or the wilderness.

David Waggoner says in his poem called Lost:

Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes beside you/ Are not lost... Stand still. The forest knows/ Where you are. Let it find you.

Some of you are feeling lost right now, inadequately prepared to find your way out of the wilderness. Holidays can do that to people. So can job changes, relationship changes, other major upheavals, especially when one thing (such as 2004) ends and another has not yet begun.

If so: Don't panic. Don't frantically study compasses and maps. Take a deep breath. Take time to examine those trees and bushes. See what you can learn about them, and yourself. Being lost can be lonely and scary. Way less fun than, say, basketball. But try to be patient. Eventually the forest will show you the way.

Point #1: It's uncomfortable and frightening to feel lost, naturally.

Point #2: Wandering around in the wilderness can lead to important insights and growth.

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